A wink of thought

It's not always the heart that matters... sometimes heartbreaking doesn't mean to lose someone you really love.. it may also mean letting someone go because you simply can't let that smile off her face. You call it sacrifice or an idiotic stuff... but all that matters is that small happiness colouring her life. I'm a happy guy being someone who cared for her but also happier to let her go and the happiest to still think of her.

When you love someone you always expect the best thing to happen knowing that the probability always comes down to rolling a dice. Sometimes you are hurt and sometimes you may carry it with grand style. But all that matters is to bring out that simple-small-energy to love someone which itself is the greatest stuff......coz not all the people u can carry with a big heart to love them. Of course you won't cease to care or like them but love is one different course and to decide yourself at the end of a road that you love someone, is something truely to be great of. 

When I was a kid, elders in the locality told us that the rainbow contains a lot of gold coins and if someone could cut the base of the raibow, he could get all the treasures. I never went for it but somewhere in my mind something was urging to carry on with that belief. I am now all grown up and know the reality about rainbow yet I always feel that I should have gone to hunt down the raibow however foolish it seemed. I'm just taking rainbow as an example. All I mean is  before you become very old enough, atleast don't make love as a rainbow. You get hurt or not...that's different! 

You will never know how poisonous a snake is until you have been biten. Till then, be happy believing everyone's sayings.  Was that a hyperbole? (who cares..it's my blog..lolz)

"Nurtured with a redolent life, a person who doesn't have a wing to soar high in the red coloured sky, needs another life to discover his own life."

ME, MY PROJECT AND MY PROJECT PARTNER...Part I

2008 is a long year. Many things happened in this year and are still undone. There were lots of stuffs occurred, which were better than expected and at the same time too many which I still laughed at myself recalling them. I finished my graduation this year. So that means, for sure, 4 things…

• I either had to work or study further (in my case, I opted for working and which turned out something disastrous in the days to come)

• I had to part with my good friends who were actually the best… be it my room-mates or college mates. I have to thank each and every friend I met during my college life because in some way or the other they’ve helped me out just being the way they are. 

• I had to stop seeing (or rather looking at) a gorgeous girl from our college whom I never had this thing called ENERGY to talk to her. I wish if I could at least say hi to her, but talking to girls has always been like having a dinner full with strictly DOSA and SAMBHAR…just couldn’t do it.

• Lastly and most importantly, finishing one’s engineering life simply implied he/she had finished his/her FINAL YEAR PROJECT. And this part, I don’t know whether I should remember it in the long run. This blog is all about my final year project. Hope this drenches me off all those memories I shared with my project guide, Mr. Ravindran. ( Actually his full name is Prof. R. Ravindran) 

How many times I’ve corrected his name while noting down some points upon being dictated…!!! 

I don’t know where to start this blog. Somewhere in the late 2007 (I was in 7th semester) I remember our CR Nagesh. (good at studies, enjoyment, talking, playing but somewhat like the character Alok in ‘5 point someone’..lolz..) He, on being asked by Ravindran sir, told him that I was one of those good students (screw Nagesh..!!) and our Prof. was looking for a prey like me. Well, that’s all how it started. 

I forgot to introduce my project partners. He had topped our dept. many times and has this cool & composed nature. Everyone calls him, “SRIDIP SARKAR.” He is right now working in AIG as software engineer. Next is a complete dude, speaking fast, learning fast and getting bored of any subject very fast. He has some 2-3 months left to become an NRI, pursuing his M.Tech in USA.(he must be enjoying like hell there with all his dream girls). We call him, “V. MURALIDHARAN”

Not knowing of the hard fate waiting for us, ours was a happy group of 3 guys who in the long run would be trying to run too fast without knowing we had already fallen unto a quicksand which, everyone calls…Ravindran. He, with those popping eyes, let us believe that he was the best guy in the industry and that doing the project under him would certainly prove worthy. 

About our project guide, well he is that type of person who is always restless. He is brainy of course but too intelligent to level all the loads of life. He is still single and that sometimes freaked us out when we were doing project. He asks you questions which you are never easy to give answers. He lets others believe he’s the best.(hell, we had to cop up with that act all the time) And lastly, he doesn’t know he was always being laughed at. You will get to know more about him in the sentences to follow. 

His advice was... “At least come for the cycle test. Leave the answer sheet blank if you don’t know anything. I will take care of the rest.” And ya frankly, we all got very good internals except for the external where we got screwed badly.

We started doing our project in the month of September itself when everyone didn’t even bother identifying their project partners or project names. Every time we met him, a feeling that something wrong would happen to us, always encompassed us and to tell you, something worse always happened. We had to deal with him almost everyday and each day was a different day for us fearing more and more whether we did a mistake by letting him become our project guide. At the end of the year, our hardware was ready to everyone’s surprise and a promise that the documentation would be done by him and which, to our belief, was never done at the truest sense. After the semester exam, we went to our homes which he was strictly against of. But, thanks to Murali, his lie was a perfect one. We had a total stress free vacation but it wasn't long before the real misfortunes took a serious turn in torturing us like it never did to any one.

to be cont...

Today's feelings..!!

Today was World AIDS DAY and a birthday of one of my friends' girlfriend. As I'm writing this, the clock is showing 6:21 in the morning. I think I haven't slept for the whole night. Then I looked back what I did yesterday and I found it rather ordinary. The only peculiar stuff was the picture I saw yesterday when my friend James sent it to me. I still could tell the way my heart pounded looking at the person of my past...so vividly calling me yet again to get drowned. Listening to my own state of palpitation, I wasn't sure what actually was going through my mind that moment. I was nervous,shy, my eyes popped out, but most importantly I found a curve in my face which was equally astonishing. There was no reason why I should be feeling that way considering the fact that I had tried many a time to forget that picture and yet, there was also no reason why I shouldn't be feeling that way because I believe that a person like her, with that huge character, would never stop of being the same simple girl a she used to be and I, on the other hand, did never dislike her. There have been a lot of past between the day we met and this present moment and yet,the whole colossal time could never stand in front of this emotion. I'm not hoping of what I did when I first saw her but this zeal of wishing her to be happy always shall never cease from this shallow heart. The person who has been both at the bottom of the ocean and the tip of a mountain knows more about the beauty of this world than anyone. I have never been to any of this place but I believe that I could have the same vision as that knowledge-full guy if i happen to be at those places. Same way, I always believe I could spell the word Happiness more carefully and beautifully than anyone else if I happen to be the luckiest guy her heart needs to lean on.

There is always a time in everyone's life when he thinks he is making the right decision and that nobody could tell anything to him. Sometimes, that part comes to you while framing career, or while handling a situation in family.... but most of the time it comes to you when you think love is in the next step. And, even though you thought it a right thing to do, you would end up doing it again and again. I'm not sure whether this very present moment is that defining moment. All I'm wishing is if it is, then I would never want a second moment to occur to me.

I'm in a fix....!!!

THE FIRST THING

Well folks, this is my first post and I was thinking as to what I shall write here. I know that whatever I am going to jot down here today will be purely random thoughts. I strolled on this very thought that, doing something for the first time, feeling something first time...something happening to you for the very first time....they all come under the so called SPECIAL MOMENTS in life. At this moment, the world's population is 6856697988 and to think of how these many people shall build something very unique to be saved in their memory database, is simply remarkable. Whoever you are at this present, you always have this uncanny knack of walking down those memory lanes where you designed something for the first time….the first crush…the first kiss…the first class bunking….the first heartache…. and when you do that, you wont mind agreeing someone that tears too are heavy sometimes…ya ya… just sometimes.

I too remember the first time I proposed to a girl…Oct 28, 2001 to be more precise. Where on earth I found that energy to go and say some gal that I loved her…. one of the seven wonders of my life… :)!! I was one those kids who loved going to school because the very idea of eating in a tiffin enthrals me a lot. On returning home, I was then too busy playing marbles or cricket. Then someday the pounding rate of this heart took a quantum leap when I saw this beautiful girl in my maths tuition. At those days I used to go to school and tuitions by bicycle. And if you go to 3 to 4 tuitions a day, then traversing by a bicycle could cost you 30 Km per day which is too tiresome. And yet I was happy everyday to go to tuitions…may be because I drank horlicks everyday or may be….may be….it’s because of the inexplicable phenomenon I couldn’t understand at those days. Still today, even though I can’t figure out the exact reason why I still yen to remember that day, I am a happy guy to have admired her…sob sob…:P

I believe there are still FIRST THINGS to come my way. It’s just how I am going to encounter it and how to make it better than the best my life has ever seen. And we remember our past so that we can think of another way to make it better or correct the whole.

I am stopping here…

Whoever is viewing this, please leave a comment mentioning something about the first thing of any sort happened to you…!!! (I know you won’t)

NB:- About the proposal I mentioned above….well….. I got rejected…khi khi..!! :)